The Elephant in The Room

I would like to be an athlete, but I am moderately lazy and definitely overweight. I have recently become an avid runner, though, and I sought the advice from a personal trainer on how to become better. She analyzed my gait, determining that I externally rotated at the hips and heel struck, which was resulting in shin splints. I was all like, "Which $180 shoes are going to help me break that 13-minute mile that I consistently run?" My trainer thought probably "something with more padding to insulate the heel strike." She suggested strength training, especially for the core. I was all like, "When does the carb-loading start?" And she laughed, but I was actually serious.

At no time did the lovely Kaitlyn suggest that my running would improve vastly if I would stop being fat. And it didn't occur to me at the time that I externally rotate my hips because otherwise I would start a friction fire between my legs (not the good kind). Or that POSSIBLY I was getting shin splints because it was too much fucking weight being jostled around on them during my "runs." Or that perhaps the shoe wasn't the problem at all.

And then something even more startling occurred to me: Perhaps lovely Kaitlyn genuinely didn't see this as part of the problem. Obesity is so commonplace that we have stopped seeing it as such, but the proof of it is still there in all the places it has always been: knee pain, ankle pain, GI disturbances, fatigue.

I do this all the time in my own line of work. As a massage therapist, I work with clients suffering from all kinds of pain. So often, clients muse, "Do I need to consider knee replacements? Should I try PT? Would BioFreeze help?" The elephant in the room is so incredibly difficult to approach and impossible to sensitively discuss. This is not Jeanne being a dick, this is Jeanne being as pragmatic as a caveman: the problem is too much weight. Our bodies, the most complex of simple machines, are breaking under our weight.

I am not passing judgement on obesity, because if you live in a fat house you shouldn't throw fat stones. Or something. The enormity (if you will) of our cultural acceptance of obesity is causing myriad other problems, not just that we are too sensitive to honestly approach the issue but worse, that we fail to even see it sometimes.

As a bodyworker, I am self-aware. I brought the weight issue to the table to discuss with Kaitlyn. Once the topic was broached she had so much other great advice for me, like diet suggestions, strength training to stimulate metabolism, etc. And when a client opens that door for me, I am able to somewhat delicately agree that YES, additional weight on the knees/ankles/vicera is problematic. Without that invitation, though, both Kaitlyn and I have trouble entering into this dialogue with people. And the problem is HUGE.

Now talk amongst yourselves and report back. I, for one, need to pop on these big padded shoes and break a landspeed record with my fat dog.

Pineapple Cake & Pride

I just love women, everything about them. If it wasn't for this business of sexual attraction to men - generally - and MY man - specifically - I could see living out my days with a nice gal. I could picture us whipping up pineapple upside-down cake and reading "In Touch" together. For a hot minute I was all like "OMG I NEED A SISTER WIFE," but then I watched the show and realized that whole scenario is bogus.

But partnerships, though...those work really well. Men and men, women and men, women and women, etc. A partnership makes us feel secure, connected, protected, loved, giddy, cozy, strong, beautiful, and smart. I am a wonderful person without my man, yes, and I could take on the world without him, yes. But I am a better and more complete person with him. He brings out the purest sense of me and I, him. Man, I love this guy, even despite his total disregard for celebrity news, inability to bake, and disinterest in shoes.

I have chosen a man as my partner. The world approves of our union and the laws uphold our partnership.

I filter everything through my kids' eyes now though, and I try to picture the world when they become adults. I want desperately to know that if my son chooses a man as a partner, his marriage will be legitimate in the eyes of the law. Let's not get all bananas and throw The Lord into this discussion - that is a battle for someone else to fight - I am talking about a legal union, equal rights for gay and straight marriages alike.

We are getting there. Each new state that makes baby steps in the right direction makes me swell with pride. So much PRIDE.